Dear Detroit Auto Designers:
Please develop new car designs to include an automatic
jiggler/taser device.
Any driver who attempts to pull into the turn lane and
either isn’t smart enough, skilled enough, or doesn’t care whether he pulls his
car inside the turn lane lines or not, will automatically trigger this inventive device
to start jiggling and wildly shaking the idiot driver inside his own car. The jiggler/taser will also activate for any
driver who pulls the front end of his vehicle into the turn lane while leaving
the ass of his car stuck out in the other lane, blocking traffic headed in the
same direction, forcing those drivers to come to a complete stop. The incompetent driver’s horn will then blare
loudly at him, before initializing a taser device delivering a jolt to the blunderpuss.
I think installing this jiggler/taser device is the only fair thing to do to resolve
this issue. A massive number of drivers either need to return to driver's ed for driving
instruction rehab and/or attitude adjustment.
Shaking the driver in his own vehicle, blasting him with his own horn, and
tasering him will deliver an alert or wake-up call to the incompetent driver that he needs help. This new jiggler/taser certainly seems to be
the best solution to stop drivers from leaving their car’s ass in someone else’s
lane.
Thanking you in advance for your new design,
cs
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