Cicada Chronicles

June 5

Last week in the hospital parking lot, a cicada landed on one of the public safety officer's neck, and flew down inside his clothes. If that would have happened to me, everyone would have heard me screaming from the parking lot to the inside of the ER.

The last several days I've noticed numerous cicadas flying through the air as I've been driving into town. Hence, I decided to keep my car windows up and use the AC instead so the cicadas don't get me. I know if one would fly inside the car, not only would I be screaming, but I would probably wreck trying to get the car pulled over to get the cicada out.

This afternoon while headed into work, a cicada crashed into my car (with the windows rolled up, of course). He died, and I'm glad. That's one less cicada to fly inside someone's clothes.

(I sound mean and blood-thirsty, don't I?) Be gone, Cicadas!

*****

June 10

Cicada Update: Yes, two days ago another cicada hit my car and died. Today, as I was driving into work, it happened again.

This time after the demise of the third cicada, however, another one flew over the hood of my car in front of Timmy Horton's on Maple, and stared intently through the windshield at me.

As I approached the hospital turn lane, yet another cicada flew slowly over the hood, staring through the windshield glass, Before flying on, he snarled, "We know where you work."

I began to shake by the time I parked my car, so I hoofed it quickly toward the hospital. I could hear all the cicada cousins and relatives sounding warnings from the nearby trees.

I didn't even head to the main entrance where I normally go in. Instead, I sprinted into the first door I came upon to get inside to safety. I know the cicadas are lurking....just waiting for me....ack!

*****

June 11

Update to Cicada Update:

Two individuals came into the Front Desk today with cicadas clinging to the back of their necks/shoulders. One man walked back outside to free himself of his, but a lady picked up another man's cicada by the wings. The cicada emitted alien screams and screeches as she carried him out.

I stood, and backed up as far as I could. I did not know cicadas could scream. It was amazing, and freaky, at the same time.

My imagination kicked up a notch, and like a scene from a bad horror movie, I wondered if the cicadas were really after me, or worse -- were they trying to turn us all into alien cicada zombies with red eyes glowing?

*****

June 13

As I sat in the cafeteria to eat some supper Monday evening, I watched the baby ducks, almost grown now, in the courtyard. Without warning, a cicada swooped down into the grassy area, and immediately five of the ducklings who had been keeping cool in the shade of a nearby bush with the other babies and their mother, bolted in a mad rush after it. Duckling #1 reached the cicada first and gulped it speedily down before his siblings could even shake their tails. I laughed out loud.

*****
June 20


-- from The Zanesville Times Recorder
 One Transported after Rollover Crash

ZANESVILLE - One person was taken to Genesis Hospital with minor injuries after a vehicle struck a utility pole around 1:30 p.m. Monday and rolled down an embankment on Linden Avenue.
Ohio State Highway Patrol Trooper Rich Lanning said the driver blamed the crash on a cicada flying into his open window and hitting his face. The driver was pinned in his vehicle for about 10 minutes. One lane on Linden Avenue near Military Road was closed for about three hours to repair the utility pole.
The Falls Township Fire Department, patrol and Muskingum County Sheriff's Office responded to the scene.

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 And you all thought I was cuckoo! I knew what would happen if I rolled down my windows! That poor man...and his vehicle.  Don't mess with cicadas!

*****

Cicada Finale -- late June

As the cicada commotion finally began to wane, I thought I had escaped the attacks and mass destruction of the evil invaders. I, therefore, decided to stop at Heavenly Ham on a Tuesday night to pick up some supper before heading to the weekly meeting of the Y-City Writers. I planned to eat in my vehicle with the windows up and the AC running while relaxing at Zane's Landing Park just to be safe since some of the cicadas were still around.

When I pulled into the Heavenly Ham parking lot, I noticed I was the only vehicle in the Heavenly Ham parking lot, which meant I could park right in front of the door for once. Hopping out of the car, I quickly entered the eatery, and bellied up to the counter. The pleasant young lady smiled.

"I'd like a box lunch, please."

At this juncture, I noticed out of the corner of my laser-repaired eyeball, a foreign, dark shape on the left shoulder of my shirt. Alarmed, I slowly turned to my right as not to disturb whatever was there. Merde! A cicada had landed next to my neck.

I did what anyone would do. I attempted to shake my shirt, but unlike other insects who would have flown off, the cicada refused to move a micro-millimeter. He simply stared at me without blinking his red eyes. I'm sure he was looking for my jugular vein. The young woman at the counter smiled again, and said, "Oh, I think cicadas are quite unusual. I find them interesting. Don't you?"

I slowly leaned over the counter, without moving my neck, and through clenched teeth, I responded, "Get if off. Get it off me now. Just get it off."

The young lass calmly walked around the counter and picked it up off my collar, before disposing of it outside. I'm sure she didn't smash its guts in like I would have. At least, this zombie cicada didn't scream in its alien voice, or I would have been a pile on the floor.

I thanked the young lady profusely. She saved my life.